This is an archived copy of a post written by Conflict Of Justice (conflictofjustice.com). Used with permission: Conflict Of Justice may not agree with any alterations made.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints enjoyed a successful 2019 General Conference. I found it overwhelmingly uplifting and positive, messages of personal improvement which can help everyone. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “We make better decisions if we look at the alternatives and ponder where they will lead.” To this end, I want to take a look at what Antimormons and skeptics are saying about General Conference. What fault do they find in these talks? What alternatives do they offer?
Well, the votes are in and skeptics are unanimously upset about our message about the doctrine of families being together forever. This is the complaint I’m seeing everywhere. They don’t like that our gospel excludes people from heaven, and in the church we believe that a family can be together forever as long as we are worthy. As one skeptic put it, “One can’t sell eternal families without also selling eternal separation.” Antimormon forums and websites are lighting up with this mimetic narrative and they are attacking faithful Latter-day Saints for believing it. Well, is this true? Does the doctrine of eternal families mean unworthy family members will be separated?
As President Russell M. Nelson reflected on the recent passing of his daughter and how grateful he was to have her as a daughter, he cited D&C 132 which states that eternal relationships are contingent upon covenants and obedience to God’s law. Those who do not enter these covenants and are not faithful to them will not be exalted with their families: “All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and entered into and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, of him who is anointed, both as well for time and for all eternity, and that too most holy, by revelation and commandment through the medium of mine anointed, whom I have appointed on the earth to hold this… are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead.” (D&C 132:7)
President Neslon recognized that there are many great and righteous people who do not enter these covenants, and lamented their situation. These are people who have been offered this covenant and did not accept it. Everyone will eventually have the opportunity to accept or reject the covenants of eternal family: “The anguish of my heart is that many people whom I love,whom I admire and respect, decline His invitation. They ignore the pleadings of Jesus Christ when he beckons come follow me. I understand why God weeps. I also weep for such friends and relatives. They are wonderful men and women devoted to their family and civic responsibilities. They give generously of their time, energy, and resources, and the world is better for their efforts. But they have chosen not to make covenants with God. They have not received the ordinances that would exalt them and with their families bind them together forever. How I wish I could visit with them and invite them to seriously consider the enabling laws of the Lord. I’ve wondered what I could possibly say so that they could feel how much the Savior loves them and know how much I love them, and come to realize how covenant keeping women and men can receive a fullness of joy.” (Russell M. Nelson General Conference 4/7/19)
Eternal Family Does Not Require Eternal Separation
Friends tell me they are worried about family members who have left the church and do not accept the gospel. Are they going to be separated from the family for eternity? Everyone has family members who have died but were not baptized, and we wonder how a loving God could exclude them from heavenly bonds with their family. They were good people, after all. President Henry B. Eyring addressed this issue square on in the 2019 General Conference. He said that this is something we should not even worry about if we understand the doctrine: “You have all had glimpses of such homes. Many of you have with the Lord’s help created them. Some have tried with full heart for that blessing yet it has not been granted. My promise to you is one that a member of the twelve Apostles once made to me. I had said to him that because of choices some in our extended family had made I doubted that we could be together in the world to come. He said (as well as I could remember) you are worrying about the wrong problem. You just worry about the celestial kingdom and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than anything you can imagine.’ I believe that he would extend that happy hope to any of us in mortality who have done all that we can to qualify ourselves and our family members for eternal life.” (Henry B. Eyring 4/6/19)
This is counsel that I’ve heard worrying mothers tell me they have received from church leaders as well. Interestingly, I haven’t seen a single Antimormon or skeptic talk about President Eyring’s explanation here. They ignore it. They pretend like the answers to their questions haven’t been given. The afterlife is a state of dwelling that is unimaginable, and any family relationship as is now in existence will be expounded and increased in a marvelous way. Eternal family is not about taking anything away from people. If someone hasn’t accepted this covenant in the first place while alive, they will simply keep on not having what they don’t already have. If they were married for time, that’s what it will keep on being. The relationships, affections, and devotions they currently enjoy will cross over into the afterlife–whatever those relationships be.
Strawman Argument – So the answer is no. No, we do not believe in eternal separation from anything that was meant to last. What the skeptics are alleging about us smacks of Catholic 16th century imagery, with promised punishments for those who don’t fall in line with church authority. The church has never used any kind of threat or promise of eternal punishment to coerce people. It makes our doctrine sound like the “limbo” theology which we reject so strongly. That’s not what we are about. It’s a pure strawman lie created by Antimormons. It is hard to imagine the glory and infiniteness of celestial relationships when I read D&C 132 promise: “I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an hundred-fold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds.” The hellish imagery from the apostate church of damned souls being tortured by devils is not what we believe, for relationships will be greater, and those who happen to be sealed with priesthood authority will experience a greater glory. This is how I understand it, anyway.
Opposition In All Things – We believe in opposition in all things. Isn’t that what the scriptures say? There can be no life without death, happiness without misery, sense without insensibility. Skeptics just assume that this applies to eternal families as well, that there can’t be glorified united families without damned separated families. But that isn’t true. The scriptures have never said this, and church leaders have never said this. Me being exalted does not mean you must be damned. So there are two big fallacies Antimormons use: a strawman portrayal that attaches the Dark Age teaching of limbo to our church, and the false application of “opposition in all things.” Also, I find it a bit malicious that they misportray President Nelson’s thoughts about the recent death of his own daughter to attack him. Pretty scummy.
Scarcity Mindset – How does our creating bonds of greater glory hurt anyone else? It’s kinda like skeptics who complain about our baptisms for the dead. How is that hurting anyone? It’s as if they are just looking for things to be offended about. Recently, Antimormons complained via The Salt Lake Tribune that the church’s new website address is offensive, because it makes other churches feel like they aren’t churches of Jesus Christ. This is another case of a scarcity mindset, where they feel somehow injured by us being successful. If we are considered Christian, that somehow decreases from their Christianness? If we make covenants with God that will increase our unity and joy as a family, that somehow makes their family of less value?
This is how Satan fights against the righteous. When we have the upper hand Satan’s followers appeal to “equality.” How dare you think you are superior to me? All love is equal! My family is just as loving and worthy of exaltation as yours. Everyone has to be pulled down to the same level playing field. Equality! Oh, but what about when Satan’s followers have the upper hand? Does the same rule exist? Of course not! When Satan’s followers are large and in charge, then they appeal to superiority. Then, they are so much better than us, with our silly superstitious nonsense and foolish traditions. Then, we should not even have the freedom to perform ordinances. This is the game they play. Their narrative shifts and changes to whatever it needs to be to tear down our family unity and happiness. Equality is only convenient if it pulls down the faithful.
Alternative: Universal Salvation
The thing about these skeptics who complain about eternal marriage is they don’t really believe that our ordinances will result in anything, so what is the harm in us performing these ordinances? I mean, if there is no God, won’t everyone just cease existing and be without eternal families anyway? Their alternative belief is a world where families are not united for eternity at all. Isn’t that worse than believing some people get exalted while others don’t? So what are they complaining about? They have not offered any kind of alternative system.
Well, President Nelson hinted at possible reasons why they are so upset. It’s about a different idea of what lasting love is: “The spirit in each of us naturally yearns for family love to last forever. Love songs perpetuate a false hope that ‘love is all ya’ need’ if you want to be together forever. And some erroneously believe that the resurrection of Jesus Christ provides a promise that all people will be with their loved ones after death. In truth, the Savior Himself has made it abundantly clear that while his resurrection assures that every person who ever lived will indeed be resurrected and live forever, much more is required if you want to have the high privilege of exaltation. Salvation is an individual matter, but exaltation is a family matter.” (Russell M. Nelson General Conference 4/7/19)
In recent years, we have seen a dramatic increase popular culture’s appeal to “all you need is love.” People sing it all the time. All love is equal. You cannot judge or exclude people for how they love. Apparently, you can just label anything “love” and suddenly culture warriors will demand the church incorporate it into our doctrine. This isn’t really a new tactic, though. It’s just in your face everywhere you go these days. I remember as a kid getting approached by eager Evangelical kids who attacked and belittled me because they “loved” me and were worried about my salvation. To use a more extreme example, the Conquistadors who invaded Native American nations and committed all kinds of atrocities did it because they “loved” the natives and simply wanted them to enjoy the benefits of being under the authority of Spain. Love has often been the excuse for terrible behavior. Today, pure animalistic lust is equated with successful families who endure years of hardship. The word “love” has lost meaning. It has become the sappy product of Disney marketing and diamond commercials. It is a very brief firing of hormones from the brain to encourage you to buy a certain product from a corporation.
Interestingly, the same skeptics who claim that feeling the Holy Ghost is just emotion also equate “love” with emotion. Isn’t that interesting? There is no spiritual reality, just your emotions. But also, there is nothing greater in life than feeling this emotion ‘love.’ Everything is emotion, apparently. In the scriptures, I find a different definition of love than what popular culture preaches. I find a definition of love that has a utility. The product created by behavior proves the quality of love behind it. The proof is in the pudding. “Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” A certain behavior works as a token of “love,” and in the temple this token is the covenant required for eternal sealing. The covenant required for eternal families as laid out in D&C 132 is the utility of love that benefits the family.
President Eyring explained that the happiest eternal family, a relationship that unites a family in exaltation, can only be the product of faith in Jesus Christ: “You could have limited success by calling a child to repent, for instance, of pride. You might try persuading children to share what they have more graciously. You could ask them to stop feeling they are better than someone else in the family. But then you come to the symptom described as ‘they began to diminish in their faith in Jesus Christ.’ There is the key to leading your family to rise to that spiritual place you want for them, and for you to be there with them. As you help them grow in faith that Jesus Christ is their loving Redeemer they will feel a desire to repent. As they do, humility will begin to replace pride. As they begin to feel what the Lord has given them, they will want to share more graciously and generously. Rivalry for prominence or recognition will diminish. Hate will be driven out by love. And finally–like it did for the people converted by King Benjamin–the desire to do good will fortify them against temptation to sin.” (Henry B. Eyring 4/6/19)
It comes down to the atonement of Jesus Christ being necessary to improve. Social justice will never permit the progression of mankind, and divine justice is the gospel path which allows people to repent and become better people. A home sealed in the covenant of eternal marriage has greater access to repentance and faith in Christ, and this is the operating agent that sets a sealed family apart. A child who is sealed in such a family but has apostatized or fallen away can still be positively affected by it. President Eyring cited Alma the Younger who remembered his father talking about the grace of Jesus while being racked with torment, and that motivated him to pray for deliverance. The power of prayer strengthens family bonds. Eyring said: “Even when family members are not living in the home, prayer can build bonds of love. Prayer in the family can reach across the world.” Alternative marriages and family arrangements may be great and uplifting, but they do equate to a family sealed together for eternity, as the elements necessary per natural law simply are not there.
Enmity – In My Turn On Earth‘s mythological portrayal of pre-existence, Jehovah admits that with the Father’s plan there will be war, misery, hatred, and death while Lucifer promised that everyone will be taken care of and not have to worry about anything. Lucifer’s alternative was universal salvation, where everyone is exalted regardless of behavior or choice. You are forced to do what’s right. I think this is ultimately the answer skeptics and Antimormons offer to eternal families. I don’t know what alternative they could imaginatively come up with–they haven’t given any. Everyone must be forced to march to the tree of life, chained to the iron rod.
But God placed enmity between the serpent and the seed of Eve, and while enmity allows us to resist the temptations of Satan, they also allow allow evil powers to resist good. Pride, selfishness, class stratification, doubt, hatred, and sinfulness seep among the pure sons of God. It is interesting that the very evil spirits who agitate for eternal salvation and complain about the existence of “less glory” are the very people causing less glory to exist. These are the same Antimormons driving people away from the church and preventing them from enjoying the benefits of exaltation. Those who complain the loudest are the sources of the problem. They create their own problem. I imagine that the people in 4 Nephi corrupting the perfect society of the Nephites were complaining about inequality as well. If they really cared about families being together forever, they would stand on street corners preaching the gospel and urging people to receive these covenants. But they don’t. If they really had a problem with the doctrine of eternal families, they would believe in some kind of afterlife where everyone is exalted. But they don’t believe in an afterlife and they don’t encourage righteous behavior that brings families together. No, the evil spirits that tempt people to have a problem with eternal families only care about driving people away from the church. They break apart families, and they want responsibility to fall on us for the damage they have done.